Compassionate Toddlers

Life is all about 'Others'. The happiest people are the ones who KNOW that serving others is the key to happiness..

But we all come into this world thinking life is all about US!! Never yet has there been an infant that cared more about Mama getting some sleep than he did about a full tummy! Yes, it's just the way we were created. And for the first year or so of life this works, Everyone dotes on Baby, Baby gets what baby wants, when baby cries baby gets attention. and yes this is all good and baby's needs should get met. this creates a secure and well adjusted baby.

But I am convinced one of the greatest keys to happiness is 'OTHERS'. learning that life is about 'Others'.

We all desire to have a child with the heart of a servant. A child who is willing to please because it bring happiness. A child that is sweet and compassionate and giving..

And even toddlers can be taught that its all about others. Life is not about ME and how much I HAVE or can GET. It's about OTHERS! Bringing happiness to others is a far greater accomplishment than processing things or getting the largest pile of sand..

It's not natural for a toddler to willingly give up anything!! Especially not when they think they own it!!  And God knows that! that's why he gave your child YOU!! Because you are your toddler's highest esteemed authority! They Love you and think you hung the moon!!

There will be many many moments where you can teach a very young child about bringing happiness to others!! But I warn you once it catches on it will become a Huge rolling ball of happiness..

Don't begin by asking your toddler to give a favorite toy to another child to play with.. respect that they have favorites!! However a very young toddler can learn about happiness for others by being asked to share toys with a younger child and having you point out how much happiness that brought to the baby!! Simple acts of servant hood like picking up babies pacifier, or bringing a snack to a sibling.. It doesn't have to always entail GIVING SOMETHING UP..  But acts of servant hood should be encouraged by you and always commented on. "Thank you, See how happy Tina was when you brought her a snack?"

When your child gets into a squabble over a toy, Don't take it personally for your child.. You are teaching your child a far greater lesson by asking the child to generously give the toy to the other child and pionting out the happiness brought by that action than you are by taking your child's 'SIDE' in the squabble.. They are already confident in your love for them, they don't need any more encouragement to be selfish. They look to you to see how to react and when you ask the other child to give the toy to YOUR child because he had it FIRST, It sends the signal that being selfish is OK! (atleast when Mom is around) :)

 Make it a habit to notice and comment on acts of servant hood! Especially those done voluntarily!! Toddlers almost always need to be guided or encouraged in these acts of servant hood because they're still such selfish little creatures..  But if you continue to encourage them in ways they can bring happiness to others and ways they can serve others..

... By the time they are in kindergarten be prepared for mounds of pictures drawn and colored especially for you, Never going to a friends house without a WHOLE collection of 'TREASURES' for that friend. Being Blessed beyond measure with countless little acts of service through out the day!! :)

Ways a toddler or preschooler can care about others:

•  bringing toys/paci to the baby
• bringing Daddy a tall glass of water when he come home from work
• Helping big sis with the dishes
• rubbing mama's feet when she is tired
• feeding/watering the pet
• coloring/drawing a picture for someone that is sick
• putting a special surprise in sibling/daddy's lunch

Remember to comment on and ecourage these actions as much as possible. Some of these actions may be some your child does with out you having to ask him to, but remember to still draw the connection for him between his actions and the recipients happiness!

Thanks for reading!! And please feel welcome to comment!!

mothering must-haves

The weather here in the Midwest lately is the kind of weather that sends me to the attic time and again to find a certian size something for a certian child. And this clothing item then gets added to the large number of scattered clothes that lay around while one decides if it's a warm weather day or a cold weather day.. Recently while in the attic I spied this semi clear tote that caused my heart to skip a beat.. BABY CLOTHES.. !!! Yes my baby is only 2 yrs. old,

 

and knowing she is going to be the baby of the family I didn't keep very many of her clothes, or her brother's (just the ones with sentimental value).. But that tote drew me like a magnet. and as I sat there being sentimental, shedding a few tears and remembering the baby days gone by I was thankful for the fact that storing baby clothes that have sentimental value takes up a whole lot less room than storing other things like strollers, cribs, bouncy seats etc.. these are things that also have sentimental value and I stored some of them for a while but then the need for room became larger than my attachment to these things..

There are some things that I bought as a mother that Were totally worthless BUT somethings I used over and over and over!!  Here are a few of the things that I wouldn't have wanted to do without!! And if you are a first time mom.. these things are definitely worth checking into!!

Moby wrap!!  Best EVER baby carrier for infants!!

For my older babies and toddlers my HaddyGrace Sling was perfect because it fit into my diaper bag and was so easy to put on!! Buy yours here.

Mesh teether: Loved this for fresh fruit and veggies, and I remember using it with ice cubes countless times at restaurants with a restless 6-9 month old..

The baby food mill: So quiet and easy to clean!! Used mine sooo much for each of my 4 babies!!

The bumbo seat!!  there is a certain age when babies think they are so much bigger than they really are and they spent the day in frustration at having to lay on their back or tummy while all the other people in the house are upright.. Therefore I loved my bumbo!!  It helped my babies feel like they were part of the family!! The toy tray attatchment is a worthwhile addition to this..

This clip on high chair was the perfect for our family and the limited floor space in our dining room. used it for all 4 of the babies!

The Sit and Stand stroller was invaluable to me when baby number 4 arrived and her brother was still a toddler.. Used this stroller EVERYWHERE!! It gave my toddler the freedom of movement that he thought was necessary for a big boy of 2. While at the same time the front seat tray removes and you can attatch an infant seat bar!!

Usborne books!! The favorite books in our home for years and years!! all the way from infants to preteens and we still LOVE usborne books!! On any given day 95% of the books pulled off the book shelf are Usborne books!

What were/are some of your Favorite baby items?? Items that you'd REALLY miss if youd have to give them up??

Remember the Little Things

It's that time of the week again.

 Time where we wrap up all the loose ends before we head into the weekend..  Time for us blogging Mamas to take a look back and remember all the great things about this week!!

Go ahead dump all your phone pics into a blog post and link it up here!!

Here are a few great moments of our week!!

We played outside pretending it was warmer than it really was!

We even played outside on the swings at 8am one morning!! Yes we are ready for spring to come!!

We played puzzles while working on phonics skills!

We took naps together!! My Favorite!!

Tina played her heart out at her VolleyBall tournament!

We took a bath with TOOO many bubbles!!

We indulged our chocolate cravings!!!

We taught brother about Kangaroo care!!

We made homemade Pizza!!

Now just to make sure that no-one thinks things always go well in our home....

We played Nintendo too early and too long!!!

We watched Tangled once too often!!

we pouted over store bought cereal for breakfast!

GO ahead!! Dump your photos into a blog (using the Blogger app) and share them with us!!  I promise it will lift your spirits as you page thru the little moments of your week that you already forgot!!

Will Wearing your Baby Spoil Them??

I get so wrapped up in getting things done! Really! I do, Lunches to pack, dishes to wash, floors to sweep, laundry to do, cooking, cleaning it all needs to be done.. and 98% of it falls to 'Mom'.. 

So you see, it's so easy to fall into the habit of getting these urgent but not neccessarily IMPORTANT things done.. 

What IS important?? What is ONE will make an eternal difference for our families??

Physical touch!!!

Here is my early morning experience for tha last 2 weeks:

My VERY energetic 2 yr old crawls into my bed at 5:30 am and cuddles next to me.. REALLY cuddles next to me!! This is the toddler that doesn't stop for ANYTHING all day long. the toddler that dresses herself, takes herself to the potty, Walks everywhere.. very independant!!  So why suddenly is she crawling into my bed each morning?? (I LOVE THE CUDDLES and have overslept many times because of the sweet sleep that happens when she is right next to me!)

Physical touch!! yes thats it!! we are all born with KNOWING what we need!! and the younger we are the less those needs are confused with WANTS!! Hadassah knows instinctively what she needs for healthy development!! PHYSICAL TOUCH!!  Thats why she is suddenly found in bed plastered against my body at 5:30 am!!

 Because when she needed me to dress her, breast feed her, etc there was lots of cuddling and pysical contact involved!! But as she grows more independant there is less need for physical contact!!

Even older children need lots of pysical touch!! You can just sense their spirit lighten when you give them a large hug!! I have to remind myself that a hug for them works better than a 5 minute 'why I love you' conversation..

Conclusion: Physical contact is extremely healthy for healthy emotional development!!

There is now way you can give a child too much Positive physical contact!!

WEAR your baby!!! THIS WILL NOT SPOIL THEM!!!!!  :)

Hug and cuddle your toddlers!!  THIS WILL NOT SPOIL THEM!!!

Hug your tweens and teens!!  JUST TO SAY I LOVE YOU!!

You will be surprised how this pysical touch makes you as the mom feel better to!! because yes, even though we are fully grown and mature we still need PHYSICAL TOUCH!!!

Meet Mitchell: my 4yr old who was Worn for much of his first 6mo of life!! :) He still thrives upon pysical touch!!

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Remember the Little Things

It's Friday!! The end of the work week.. AS I reflected over my week today I thought of all I got done, all I didn't get done.

I usually see myself as a person with a pretty positive out look but I was shocked as I looked back over the pictures in my phone from this week that a lot of those LITTLE MOMENTS I had already forgotten. If some-one where to ask me about my week I would have said:

 "It was a cold and snowy week, we didn't play out side, Nothing really exciting, Just lots of doing the same motherhood tasks over and over again. I didn't get a whole lot accomplished."

BUT when I look at my pictures It was a great week!!

It snowed and we walked through gentle falling large flakes to have coffee with friends!

We made baked oatmeal and ate it with Frozen blueberries for breakfast!

we read stories!

We played a game of Wednesday afternoon monopoly!!

We colored pictures!

We had ice cream!

We visited a nature center!

We had a great AHG troop meeting!

It's lime to unload!! Unload all the stress and frustrations of the work week!

Maybe you're a Mama who works outside of the home, and maybe you are a Stay At Home Mom or a Work at home Mom, Whoever you are.. the weekend is nigh and it's time to let down your hair, get into your comfy clothes and distress!! Make yourself a cup of tea and relax. Think back over the week and try hard to remember all the little happy things that make life worthwhile!!

We all have to unwind sometime. We need to slow down and smell the sweet breath of our babies. We need to take time to color a picture with our preschoolers, heart to heart talks with our preteens. It IS those things that matter after all. It's the little moments that counts. 

So here's to Remembering the LITTLE things! You and me Both!! Each Friday we will meet here to create a Link -up of Photos from your week to help you and me both to remember all the little happy moments. To help each other count our blessing!!

So Go ahead. Dump your Photos unto a blog post and link up!! It doesn't have to be anything with fancy words or fancy pictures!! Just a bunch of moms sharing the highlights of their week!! Follow the other linked blogs and stop by to encourage other Mamas!!

Potty training tips

So it's time???

 Time to say good by to diapers??

 Or maybe it's not time yet but you want to be prepared for when the time comes. I have successfully potty trained my 4 children, some with much less stress than others. But when it came 'time' to potty train my 4th and last baby I realized that with all 4 babies the stages we hit were all very much alike! So if your a first time mom or even a mom that wants to make potty training less of a struggle this time, please have a read and feel free to add in the comments what were some things that worked for you and what didn't. This way moms can gather a whole bunch of tips all at one place!

I did have a bit of an attachment to my cloth diapering habit and, ummm... didn't act on Hadassah's 'Ready to train' cues as early as I probably should have! :)

Because cloth diapered babies are just so stinkin cute!

My Potty Training Outline

• Potty training starts much earlier than most moms think. It's not just a 'Now we're going to potty train' kind of thing. It starts as soon as your baby toddles with you into the bathroom when you 'Go'. yes! that's right. You let that baby toddle with you to the bathroom and tell them exactly what you are doing. "mommy's going potty'. "Listen, mama is peeing". "now we wash our hands." This isn't exactly 'Potty Training' but it IS laying the ground work for it. You are getting your child familiar with all the lingo of potty trained toddlers.

• Talk to them about what happened when you change their diaper. "Oh, your diaper is WET, Lets get you a DRY diaper!"   "That feels MUCH BETTER."  Try not to let your baby get used to the wet feeling. Changing them when they are wet especially after 12 mo of age is helpful. They need to learn that dry feels MUCH BETTER than wet.

• Poop!! this one is easy if you are willing to do it! When your baby is a toddler, and you change a poopy diaper, have them follow you to the potty and watch as you dump the solids out of the diaper and into the potty all the while telling them, "This is poop, we will put it in the potty and flush it. All better! Good Job!!"       Doing this only a few times will start that connection with 'this is where poop belongs'. You can do it Mama!!!  It doesn't have to be EVERY time.  I did this with my last 2 babies a lot (because I cloth diapered) and by 18 month both of them were successfully pooping in the potty 90% of the time! :)

This 'Pre-training' stage will start when your child is around 12-18 mo and continue until you see signs of the next stage. This will become a subconscious effort on your part over these month. It won't be EVERY time. Just TALK to them about whats happening and DON'T close the bathroom door unto their natural curiosity! :)

• The next stage: this can happen anywhere from 18mo. to 3 yrs. It usually starts with your toddler bringing you a clean diaper when he needs to be changed. This Normally does NOT mean that they are ready to be potty trained. BUT it IS a normal and VERY healthy part of the journey!  This is also an important stage to change them As soon as they are wet so they don't get used to the 'wet feeling.' Continue to talk to them about the functions, "You are wet because you peed in your diaper." etc.

• The next stage is when the toddler learns to 'hold' their pee or poop. (you CANNOT teach them to 'Hold it', it is developmental stage and they cannot 'Hold it' before that muscle/brain development has happened.)They will do this because they know they will feel wet or dirty when they 'let go'. You will know when this happens because you will come to change the toddler, say, after a nap or before going out, and their diaper will be DRY! :) THIS is a happy day!! :)  excitedly comment on the fact that they didn't wet the diaper and ask them if they would like to put their pee in the potty. (by this time these words, Pee, and potty are very familar and they will know EXACTLY what you are asking. Encourage them to sit on their little potty (preferably right close to yours) and try to pee while you sit and go yourself!! Yes!! You couldn't pee either if someone stood their waiting and staring at you! :) If it happens GREAT!! if not. no big deal! You'll just try again the next time the diaper is dry!

• Start showing and talking to your toddler about underwear. show them how your (or a sibling's) underwear is DIFFERENT than diapers. Tell them that soon when they are a bit bigger they will wear them too and they will put their pee and poo in the potty and no longer in their diaper. Underwear should become a HUGE part of your bathroom conversation.

• When your Child comes to you and asks to wear underwear, THEY ARE READY!! It's a GREAT day!!  Take them to the store, let them pick out the underwear (NOT TRAINING UNDERWEAR the point is to let the accident pee run right through the thin underwear down their legs so that they get a real good feel for what happens) all the while talking about how you can't pee or poop in underwear because it feels REAL yucky! Buy a couple pairs of legwarmers too and a pair or 2 of HaddyGrace shoes that will wash up perfectly, clear your calendar as much as you can for a few days to a week so that you can focus on the trainee as much as possible

• On the DAY of first wearing under wear expect accidents. Take your child potty at least every 45min. More like every 15 min if they drink from their sippy all day. If the child has too many accidents take them more often. If the child has success make a big deal out of it!! If after a day or 2 the child even with lots of encouragment starts NOT wanting to go potty, It's ok, put the underwear away and back up to the previous step again! No big deal! :)

• If you are having success, gradually let the time go longer. 1 hr maybe and if the toddler is still dry, Great!! they are definitely 'Holding it.' this is when you can start relaxing a bit and watch the clock. :) when the toddler comes to you and says 'I have to Pee!' that's even better!! any progress is cause for great celebration!!

your looking for less accidents and more success as the week progresses. after a week you should be able to look back and see that the toddler has made progress. Do not switch back and forth from underwear to diapers (except for night time) this is confusing. When you go out just plan an hourly stop and take a change of clothes or 2.

If after a week there is NO progress the child isn't ready. NO big deal!! take comfort in the fact that there is a reason diaper sizes quite at a certain weight! Kids don't need them anymore! :) Your child won't be the exception! :)

The independent stage: Most toddlers go through a 'I can do it MYSELF' or 'You can't MAKE me stage.' If they choose to make pottying a part of this establishing Independence stage, Don't fight it! YOU cannot MAKE a child Pee! So don't turn it into a battle! just put them in diapers and go back to the pre under wearstage until they are ready again! And THEY will be! :)

GOOD LUCK!!!

Things that are detrimental to Potty trainees:

Sippy cups

pullups

Please feel free to add your tips in the comments! I would love to hear them!!

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Annual 'I Miss Summer' post and link up party

It's that time of year!!!  Yes time for my annual 'I miss summer' Blog.

 I always know I am coming down with a BAD case when early in February I stop reading blogs from Florida or any other warm place on earth! (can't take the Jealousy). 

 It usually happens gradually with things like:

 Buying an excessive amount of fresh food from the grocery store trying to re-create the taste of garden fresh veggies of summertime.

Trying to go for walks and bike rides on days when it looks sunny and warm outside but having to turn around and come back into the house because the wind is coming straight from the Arctic.

 And finally one day I succumb to the malady completely by looking through last summer's photos!!

Endless hours of fun in the sun!!!

 Bare toes and green grass

 Parades, picnics and the smell of sunkissed toddler skin!!

Photos by my BFF Beka Fox ! Take a look at her Etsy shop !! All proceeds of her shop go into funding her family's dream to ADOPT!! Isn't that exciting??

 SUMMER!!!  no doubt my FAVORITE season of the year!!

What's your favorite season???

Here's what's Happening in my Etsy shop!! We're gearing up for Spring and Easter!!!!

Peasant style Pink and cream dress WITH legwarmers!! Buy it here

And another pillowcase dress!!  Buy it here

 AND the matching boy outfit!! here

Manic Monday Link up!!!!

here's a glimps of a photo shoot.

Link up your Blog and follow others on the link up list!!  Tell them you found them on Manic Monday Link up!!